Blessi and Chris Cox

Fear is irrational.  Fear feeds upon itself.  Fear is an impassable barrier.  This is a story about fear while riding and it is a very hard report to write so please bear with me.

We are waiting for the demo to begin.  I am trying to
hide behind Blessi and the round pen.

Chris Cox, a natural horsemanship trainer, was looking for riders who had both a serious riding accident and confidence issues for his “Building Rider Confidence Clinic” at the 2014 Northwest Horse Expo in Albany, OR.  (Note: I like to use TTouch/TTeam and Connected Riding training techniques myself and both Robyn Hood and Peggy Cummings have also helped me with my fear issues at previous, more private clinics.)  Since Shannon Lockwood was already going to be riding Blessi at this event, I decided to try and become a participant.  I definitely met the criteria and I was 99.99% sure that Blessi would be calm and steady in this environment.  It would be good exposure for the Icelandic breed and I would pick up a few riding tips.  I was accepted as a participant but reality has a way of confounding expectations. 

Chris explains a breathing technique to help with hyperventilation.

I almost cancelled out several times but the other Icelandic owners at the event and Shannon were very encouraging.  So on the day of the clinic, I saddle up Blessi and go for it. Poor Blessi, Shannon my dressage instructor has just ridden him in the freestyle demo. He goes directly from her free style demo to my demo with Chris with no break. 

Here I am saying "No," "No," "No," to Chris even though
Blessi is saying "Yes," "Yes," "Yes" to me.

As I walk Blessi around the entrance waiting for the clinic to begin, I go into a full blown panic attack. I start hyperventilating sound almost like I am in a Lamaze breathing class.  Joanne, the other participant, who has fear issues of her own, starts telling me funny stories about herself to try and make me laugh.  When we lead our horses into the arena, the crowd of at least a thousand is standing room only.  All I see is this vast sea of eyes and faces staring, staring, staring.  My panic, hyperventilation, and discomfort increases.  Shannon is so concerned that she walks into the arena with me—I think she was worried that I was going to faint—a real possibility at this point.  Blessi seems totally relaxed.

Chris riding Blessi in the round pen.  They are going so
fast that it is hard to get pictures.

As we introduce ourselves and our horses, Chris notes that I am green and clammy with shallow, fast breathing.  He gives me a breathing technique to at least stop the hyperventilating. Take a deep breath, hold it for a second or two, and let it out as if you are fluttering a feather directly in front of your mouth.  (I confirm later that this is what the medical sites on panic attacks also recommend.)  Believe it or not, two deep breaths and the hyperventilation stops! 

We mount up---I am shaking, not thinking, and scared. Blessi is calm, relaxed, and responsive—answering my every cue.  Chris asks me to do some basic stuff (like trotting or tolting) to assess my riding level and I just say "No." (Later, I apologized to Chris who very graciously said that my behavior was typical of a fear response.)  Now I am worried that I am ruining Chris’ demo.  What can he show the crowd if half of his demonstration team is riding in circles, turning green, thinking she is going to throw up, and saying No to every suggestion? 

Chris works with Joanne and her horse.  He checks to see if the horse without a rider will listen to his directional cues from the center of the round pen.  Chris also rides the mare to make sure she is safe for Joanne’s level of riding skill in this high pressure environment. Joanne mounts and with some equitation tips from Chris about rider position and following the movement of the horse, Joanne, who competes in reining,  is cantering without reins or bridle in the round pen.  Chris discusses the importance of core strength in the rider for balance and security.  He also recommends taking lessons from any trainer.  If you have invested so much in a horse and tack, you should also invest in yourself and your training. 

Chris works with Blessi in the round pen.

 

Now it is our turn.  We spend a few minutes talking—I think Chris is trying to calm me and build some trust.  I also don’t think he has worked much with Icelandics since he thinks they can’t canter.   Chris takes Blessi into the round pen and repeats the process.  Chris then asks me to mount having quickly ascertained that Blessi is a safe horse for me.  I ask if Chris would ride Blessi first and Chris jokes that I just want to see him ride in an English saddle. He hops on and within minutes has Blessi galloping around the round pen. Chris takes his lariat and starts spinning circles in the air.  Ok, since I was stressed at this point, my memory of the exact words used may be off a bit.  Chris calls Blessi a “good horse,” much faster than he had expected, and having a super smooth canter that he could rope from. (This was great since up to this point all the crowd had seen was an old, slow, pokey pony being ridden by a gibbering idiot.)

Chris is coaching me on riding a canter.

I get on Blessi and we agree that I will attempt to canter Blessi for the first time in my life for just a few, negotiated strides.  I am thinking to myself that Chris won’t ask anything that he doesn’t think that Blessi and I are capable of due to liability and bad press.  My fear doesn’t really respond to this argument.   

Here I am trying to get Blessi to canter from a fast trot while
constantly checking on the reins at the same time.

I don't know how to ask for a canter depart so Chris helps by applying some pressure from the center of the round pen.   However Blessi has a fast trot with lots of suspension. Although I am secure in the saddle, I go into hysterics again, shrieking in time to every stride. To continue the natal analogy, I sound like a woman giving birth.   Ok, this is where I really have to decide if I trust Chris.  It would be all too easy for him to push Blessi into a canter and voila, he has coached another fearful rider to conquer her fears and canter.  I have to say that Chris’ timing is low key and supportive to what I am cuing Blessi to do.  This is quite a challenge since I keep hauling back on the reins.  Blessi is obeying my every cue despite my hysterics and trying to listen to both Chris and myself. 

Finally, I break through into a canter for a few strides. It is like flying in a small plane in the clouds with turbulence and then emerging into clear, calm skies.  We are free and sailing away.  Evidently I put get this huge smile on my face. Blessi slows down and Chris tries to encourage me to try again in the other direction.   but I can't--not at this time in front of the crowd.   I really just want to be away from the crowd as soon as possible.  I dismount and Chris gives me a big hug.

Evidently the crowd gave me and Blessi a standing ovation (which Blessi really deserved).  People were crying and cheering.   A fellow Icelandic owner in the crowd overheard people saying "I would buy that horse," "I want that horse," "My mother needs that horse." As we walked back to the barn, strangers come up, some in tears, to hug me and Blessi.  Blessi gets lots of hugs, kisses, and treats from me.  Can horses become saints?  Many thanks to Shannon and the members of the Cascade Icelandic Horse Club for their support!

Chris gives me a big hug.

I have to give Chris credit. He understood what I was going through, gave me total support, and never tired to belittle or force me into something beyond my skills.  However the hard work is just beginning.  This was a good start but to really progress I need to build those core muscles, ride more frequently with intent and a plan, and start riding lessons again.

As I was writing up this account, I was struck by the number of similarities between what I was going through and how horses react when they are fearful—the need for total trust, the need for consistency, the need to build in small steps.  There are so many analogies here. 

Blessi and Horse Agility

I had always thought that doing agility with my dog Ollie was fun and wondered what it would be like with Blessi my horse--you know the agility with ramps, hoops, and tunnels.  Vanessa Bee from the UK had that exact same thought and developed a sport around it.  Here is a link to her organization's site...

http://www.thehorseagilityclub.com/

...and a link to her promo video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZzCL7V5LLg



As you can see, I have reverted to using a tight lead line.
Blessi is dermined to visit Vanessa.

Vanessa is giving her first tour in North America.  She will be at various locations in Canada and the US in June.  I attended her clinic in the Seattle area this weekend.  One of the first things that Vanessa mentions in her clinic is that all "sticks" (carrot sticks, longe lines, crops, etc) are forbidden in class.  Our goal is to partner with horses and get them to do the obstacles on a loose lead line.  Vanessa's background is education so she has an excellent instructional style.



She talked about getting the horse to work with you using feel and timing. Having attended a Buck" Brannam clinic, she talked about how we should be striving to work with our horse in horse agility by "feel."  In a video I viewed recently, Tom Dorrance defined "feel and iming" as like balancing a broomstick on the tip of a finger--you need to move just enough to keep the stick balanced. If you move too fast the stick falls over, if you don't move fast enough the stick falls over.  The feel itself is very delicate with almost no pressure. So our challenge during the obstacle training is to lead our horses through the obstacles by feel and body language with float in the lead line.

Vanessa emphasized that the horse dictates the rate of exposure to an item.  She demonstrated how to introduce a horse to flag waved at the end of the stick. She waved the flag slowly from a distance.  She then walked slowly towards the horse until she detected the horse seemed nervous and then walked away from the horse.  She kept up this approach and retreat effort until she could wave the
flag gently under the horse's nose.  And then Vanessa said that was enough for the day.  The mare trusted that Vanessa would remove the object as soon as it became scary and this trust could be built on during another day.

She also chunks down the activity.  So for instance, trailer loading is practiced in several stages on the ground first a) go through barrels that are gradually brought closer together, b) go up ramp, etc.







Many horses have an instintive fear of putting their feet inside
a hula hoop since it looks like a hole to them. 
The purpose of this challenge is to direct your horse to step
into the hula hoop, then step into your hula hoop and have
your horse wait for you for the count of 3 or more.  Blessi got
this one immediately. 

Vanessa had some excellent ground exercises to help a horse develop straightness and flexibilty. For example, she talked about how some of the natural horsemanship methods to backing up your horse by shaking the leadline back and forth often result in a horse backing up out of balance--high headed and hollow backed.  She suggested some alternative ways.

Horse agility is scored--just as in dog agility.  One of the things that I loved about Vanessa's approach to evaluating results is that you are scored by both how well your horse does an activity and how well you set him up for success. All activities should be done with a loose lead line with float in it.  Each
time that your tighten up the lead line, you lose a point.  You can never strike your horse for any reason.  If the horse does not want to go through the barrels, you can invite the horse through but you cannot drag it through or threaten it with the lead line to get it through.

For example one of the activities is to lead the horse through a serpentine of poles.  The horse can step over and kick over the guiding poles and may get a 1 for the activity.  However if the owner keeps coaching, keeps the lead line with float, etc., she may score a 5 out of 5 (full marks) for the event.
 Vanessa also trains with safety in mind.  As you start out in horse agility, you want the horse to do events calmly rather than through excitement.  For example, when introducing your horse to the car wash (assuming your horse will approach
it willingly--otherwise you need to start with approach and retreat method), you start by asking your horse to stop in front of the car wash, you then step through the car wash and invite your horse to step through after you.  This really helps if the horse tries to crowd you at gates or when exiting stalls, etc.



Blessi is making me look good. See the loose lead line.
The truth is that when Blessi sees a bridge-like object
he just crosses it for me no matter how badly I set him up

Vanessa has worked extensively with Exmoor ponies so she is familiar with horses with Icelandic-like temperments and she enjoys working with them.  I often judge a clinician by how Blessi reacts to him or her.  The clinic was held in a pasture covered in rich grass so Vanessa challenged me to make Blessi think the grass was "poison" and not let him eat by using my body language and by making
him work when he dived for grass. Vanessa demonstrated how to do this with attitude and body language--it was subtle but effective. (I have gotten so tired of instructors telling me to hit Blessi to get him to stop diving for grass.) Blessi immediately bought into Vanessa's view point.  In fact he was fascinated with her.  He kept following her movements and several times took steps towards her as she kept bring out new items to introduce how to work with them.

I was either partly successful or partly unsuccessful in managing the grass diving depending on how you want to think about it. This continued to be a challenge--go through two barrels placed closely together--no problem!!! However lead Blessi through with loose lead line, have put his head down in a relaxed position, and then try to stop him from eating grass at the end of the tarp under the barrels--problem. I must also confess that I am inconsistent on handling the whole grass diving issue.

Another obstacle is to lead your horse through a square filled with empty, plastic, water bottles.  Every time (except for the actual test) that I led Blessi through the square, he had to stop and investigate the bottles.  He would pick up each bottle and shake it to see if it had treats in it.  Some he even threw some out of the square.

 

Blessi tries to fool me by keeping a low head while
crossing the tarp--oh my is that grass!

Blessi never did lead through the barrels well.  The challenge was to stop the horse before the barrels, you walk through the barrels, and then invite the horse to walk through the barrels--another great safey exercise so the horse does not push into you as you go through gates.  None of the other horses at the clinic noticed that there was some flakes of grain on top of the barrel.  So every time we did the exercise, Blessi would stop, I would walk through the barrels, and he would take the opportunity to lick up a few more flakes of grain, bite the barrel and pick it up in his teeth and shake it hoping to get

more grain, etc.

Via the International Horse agility organization, you can compete in various categories by submitting a video of you and your horse trying pre-defined course with mostly equipment you can make at home.  You get judged and compete with others at your level in many different countries.  The champion in 2011 was an Exmoor pony stallion named Hawkwell Versuvius:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj7mtSPeFxo

I have to say that this was a wonderful, fun clinic in which I learned a lot. The clinic was filled with great horse owners and lovely horses.  Breeds ranged from other Icelandics to Arabs, minis, draft crosses, Welsh ponies, etc.  Humans ranged in age from 8 to 50+ so it really is a sport that just about anybody and any horse can do.

I was challenged to refine how I work with Blessi.  I really thought that I used a lot of float in the lead line when I worked with him on the ground.  What I discovered with feedback from the clinic is that I work that way when events go well, but when I am confused or tensed up or Blessi misinterprets what I am doing, I tighten up that lead line as a default method.  As Vanessa says, I need to trust my horse, trust Blessi and he will work with me.